Not quite human

[Excerpt from Ëlinyr’s journal]

So I woke up this morning with pointed ears once again.  They’re significantly less pronounced than they were when my blood was more strongly sun elf, but they are indeed pointed again.  I am wondering if something happened when the Night Market attempted to change me to human, and they weren’t entirely able to remove the elf heritage from my blood. Strange, that it would manifest now and not immediately after my transformation, but I suppose it is what it is, and I must deal with it. I am still not shimmering in the sun, so there is that. I am an elf, but not a sun elf.  I still have the full range of emotions I’ve been experiencing since I shed my sun elf heritage, too, so I feel that the ears are the only thing that have changed.

I do hope that this recent development does not make its way back to my mother.  While she did disown me, I have no doubt that if she heard my ears were presenting as elven again she would march back into my life and cover me in shimmering makeup, and ensure I never set foot outdoors in the rain so as to not disturb the illusion that I was, in fact, a full-blooded sun elf.

Gossamer made an offer to me recently, to help discredit my mother and weaken her position in the nobility, low as it is – his idea was to spread news about my human heritage, and how my mother covered up the fact that my father was a human and attempted to get me married off to any sun elf noble she could find before my human heritage was discovered. I think I shall take him up on this offer, just in case she does find out I am appearing a little more elfish these days – if she does find out, I would be much happier were she not in a position to do anything about it.

Ëlinyr processing some… feels (post-game 50)

[excerpt from Ëlinyr’s journal, presented exactly as written]

– I am human now. HUMAN. And gods, now that it’s sunk in, I feel as if a great weight has been lifted from me… I feel jubilant, ecstatic, all sorts of feelings, and so very, very intensely – is this what it’s like, being human?

– I almost think that I am legitimately happy, for the first time since I was a little girl – it’s been so very long since I last felt truly happy that I’ve forgotten what it felt like, and even then… oh gods, the FEELINGS.

– what would Father say to me, though, knowing I’ve done this? I hope he’d be happy for me, and would want me to be happy above all else, and oh goodness, I am happy, honestly happy, how did I live for so long without feeling like this? without feeling?

– I’d heard rumors about the Night Market, that you could buy almost anything there, but until a few days ago I’d never been, so I truly had no idea

– one of the Hiwani that recently joined the guild, Kazz, also changed his race – he became… agh, I can’t remember, but it’s the same race as those depicted in the statues at the elemental shrines in the desert – anyhow, he underwent extreme torture to pay the cost

– OH, I nearly forgot. We finally tracked down the dwarf, Marta, who’s been involved in the Hiwani and Gnoll abductions – apparently she even put a hit out on Gossamer because of how we took down Dobarra’s (did I spell that correctly? unsure, and whatever, she’s gone now) warehouse and slave-selling operation. Why on earth would someone want to assassinate Gossamer? I find him highly entertaining, and enjoy adventuring with him – and I don’t think warehouse destruction is a killable offense

– Anyhow, the Jin Shi have Marta now, and as I’ve written previously in my notes, we have the name of her boss and the location of her books, so she won’t be a problem any longer

– It’s a shame she’s such a vile person, I find her sass very… attractive

– aaaaaaagh I’m a human

– oh yes, there was also a boat trip as part of our most recent adventures, we went to try and find the crew of a missing merchant ship and trade some goods with some nearby mermaids while we were at it – apparently a large aquatic Hiwani named… Blackfin? I really need to get better at remembering names, anyhow, he destroyed the merchant ship by, if I remember right, punching a hole in it. (I could be entirely misremembering it, however, the past few days have been a little… muddled, memory-wise)

– I seem to have acquired an assistant – Moira, one of the students I rescued from that ill-planned student expedition to the ruins in the desert, expressed that she wished to work as my assistant – and since she proved to be, well, an enthusiastic adventurer who shows some promise, I suppose I’ll keep her

– I really should tell Mother I’m human sometime soon

– Oh gods, though, what if she tries to take Mukhif back? He’s been having such a rough time of things lately, with that blackout during the infiltration of the Corsair fort, and then that whole thing involving the coin that’s tied to The Twins and recovering memories of his daughter

– well, if she tries to take him, then I simply won’t let her. plus, I’m sure Obeah would assist in any efforts against my mother to keep Mukhif safe, after all, they are “second-besties”, whatever that means

– I do hope my newfound humanity inconveniences her, as she’s inconvenienced me so many times over the years with her constant attempts to marry me off to sun elf nobility – who’s going to want me NOW, Mother? probably no-one, boo hoo for you

[end of written entry]